


What we used to be

by Schangia



Category: World Trigger (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant until Chapter 161, Character Study, Domestic, M/M, Pre-Canon, mentions of Kazama Shin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schangia/pseuds/Schangia
Summary: A glimpse at how Souya and Reiji met at Tamakoma, how they fell in love, and why they parted.
Relationships: Kazama Souya/Kizaki Reiji
Kudos: 5





	1. Replacement

When his brother died, Souya didn't cry. It wasn't that he didn't love Shin, but they'd never been as close as brothers should be. Shin was ten years older than him, making them too far apart in interests, and after Shin was accepted into Border, he hadn't been home much anyway.

It wasn't a loss for Souya. If anything, his heart felt much lighter. (He should feel horrible thinking that, but he didn't.)

His days continued just the same, even if he found himself staying away from his parents. Their grief made him feel strange, and Souya never knew how to act the part of a heart-broken younger brother. Still, with or without Shin, his time kept moving without disturbance.

Until the day an odd man showed up at their front door, introducing himself as someone from Border. Without having much to say in the matter, it was decided that Souya would take Shin's place at Border, filling the hole left by his brother's death. 

To his own surprise, Souya wasn't particularly bothered by it. As long as he could get away from Shin's ghost lingering in the hallways of the house he hadn't lived in for years, he'd do it. Even if he was to risk his life in the process.


	2. New beginning

The moment Souya takes his first step from the train onto the platform, it feels like an invisible noose winds itself around his neck. The suitcase weighs heavy in his hand even though he hardly filled it with anything. He didn't believe in the worth of material things, especially not when he put his life in danger like this.

He senses Rindou before he can see or hear him. It's a defence mechanism, he realises, because he still doesn't trust the odd man and probably never will. Rindou is standing near the vending machines to his left, waving and grinning at him. Souya doesn't like his grin—Rindou is using it to hide something, but he can't yet figure out what that something is.

“Hello, Souya. Thank you for coming. Did you have a good trip?”

Rindou smiles at him, not openly bothered by how Souya's face remains blank. When Rindou reaches for his suitcase, Souya takes a small step back and tightens his grip.

“I did. Thank you.”

If Rindou is surprised at his actions, he doesn't show it. Instead, he puts on his grin again and starts walking towards the exit, not turning around to see if Souya is following him. He knows that Souya will eventually start following him; it's not like he has anywhere else to go.

“Your brother used to be my disciple,” Rindou says after Souya caught up to him reluctantly, his eyes looking ahead, not at the boy next to him.

Souya doesn't like the idea of being his brother's replacement, but he remains silent. He's used to people not caring about what he wants. Why would it be any different this far from home?

There's a car waiting for them when they walk out the train station. This time, Souya lets Rindou take the suitcase from him and watches with caution how he puts it into the car boot. He opens the door for Souya and looks at him expectantly. The grin on Rindou's face has a different edge to it now.

“I hope you'll live up to Shin's name.”

The world around him blurs into shades of blue. Souya feels the noose tightening on him.


	3. Struggle

Souya wasn't used to struggling. Albeit not as much of a genius as his brother, he was still fairly adept at most things he tried to achieve. Failure wasn't something he had known before, and he found that being unable to excel at something right away—or at least after a few tries—greatly bothered him.

With everything he had learned about Rindou so far, Souya was sure his mentor gave him impossible tasks on purpose in his tireless search for his pupil's breaking point. It seemed like something he would do, although Souya understood this could just be his bias talking. He had disliked Rindou from the moment he first met him, and the time they spent together hadn't changed anything about that.

For the past week, Souya had accompanied him on his personal training which turned out to be the most horrible experience he ever had to go through. Their pace was relentless, Souya barely keeping up with the length of his legs, and the combat sessions were dreadful. Sometimes, when they were resting at night, Souya thought that Rindou probably didn't want him here, that he only dealt with Souya because he was the closest replacement to Shin he could ever get. Maybe Rindou deeply missed his brother and just tried to cope with his sadness. If so, they had even less in common.

Furrowing his brow, Souya tugs at the neck of his uniform. His own was fashioned after what Rindou wore, and while he might feel comfortable with the design, Souya clearly didn't. The coat was too long, almost dragging on the floor, and it was hard for him to move. The long trail often got caught and Rindou wasn't helping at all; he would stop, yes, but instead of untangling Souya, he would simply laugh at him and make a comment on how he still had a lot to learn if he was already impaired by something on this level.

Souya didn't want to go through this kind of training, especially not if the only person it served was Rindou.

They never talked much. Rindou would say something from time to time, but Souya only replied with a hum, if at all. Talking with Rindou put him unnecessarily on edge, so when they walked through a quiet residential area this evening, he relished in the silence for as long as he could.

“You know, Souya,” Rindou suddenly says without looking at him, “it's okay to struggle. You don't have to get everything right on your first try.”

The words sting more than any reprimand. He doesn't want Rindou to console him. He doesn't want that kind of relationship—any kind of relationship—with the man who only saw him as a convenient yet insufficient replacement for his dead brother. The only thing he truly wants is for his training to be over so he could finally leave and take his life back.

Souya doesn't say anything at first. He's too occupied with wishing he could just become invisible, invisible to Rindou and his parents and to the whole world. If no one saw him, he could live his life the way he wanted to. He smiles to himself at the thought and makes it his goal to escape their eyes, to vanish whenever he pleases.

When Souya looks up, Rindou still has his back turned to him. He mulls over his words a while before he replies in a quiet voice, “I need to become stronger.”

It's close enough to the truth to pass, but when Rindou's shoulders are shaking briefly with silent laughter, Souya doesn't know how to judge it. He decides it doesn't matter and quickens his pace, catching up to his mentor.


	4. Encounter

One day, Rindou brought home another boy Souya's age. He was already taller than Rindou himself, but with his slight slouch it was hard to tell. There was dirt on his clothes and his face, and several strands of his shaggy auburn hair stuck to his forehead with something that could only be blood. His eyes were vacant as he stared at something Souya's eyes couldn't see.

Souya knew why he was here before Rindou introduced him.

“This is Reiji. He lost his parents to a Neighbour attack and will stay with us from now on.”

The longer Souya looked at Reiji, the more he thought that, maybe, Tamakoma was a place for people who weren't whole any more. For those who lost something important to them that couldn't be returned, let alone replaced.

He decided to be on good times with Reiji, even if it turned out to be difficult. As Souya's training continued, he tried to make enough time to talk to Reiji and see how he was doing. He hadn't been assigned a mentor yet, and Souya silently prayed he wouldn't end up having to deal with Rindou as well.

Despite what he'd been through, Reiji was incredibly kind, even to strangers. Souya had noticed right away when they first talked; there was a gentleness in Reiji's eyes and touch that exceeded what he should be capable of with his huge size. Most importantly, it felt sincere. Like Reiji's kindness had been a part of his body since he was born and not something he had learned from watching others.

For the first few days, Reiji followed him around wherever he went, and while Souya usually preferred to not interact with the other people at Tamakoma, he welcomed the company. It was the first time someone was nice to him not because of his name, but because they wanted to. At least it felt like that to him.

They complemented each other, Souya realised after spending more time with Reiji, and was immediately surprised. It was a strange feeling, something he'd never experienced before, but he liked it. And he was determined to not let anything get between them.


	5. Trust

Souya and Reiji were both the silent type, albeit for different reasons. Reiji was reserved, a bit shy even, and cared too much about other people. When he had first arrived at Tamakoma, he had feared coming off as intrusive if he tried too hard, and so he had kept quiet. Back then, after he had lost his mother, Reiji had wanted people to approve of him so badly he didn't know how to talk to them.

Souya was different; he just didn't like talking to people, especially when it came to the ones at Tamakoma. While Rindou was by far the most unpleasant person around, there were others he had trouble interacting with, and he did his best to avoid them.

Over time, Reiji became a lot better at being with people besides Souya. It was mostly due to Azuma's effort—the longer Reiji worked with his mentor, the easier it became for him to show his genuine interest in other people. While Souya had liked him just the way he was before, it warmed his heart to see him grow.

They talked about everything. Souya had never shared anything about his past or family with anyone at Tamakoma, and just being able to talk to Reiji without fear of being judged made his heart feel a bit lighter. He knew Reiji felt the same. Even if it had become easier for him to interact with other people, he still preferred talking to Souya. It made him feel special, but he'd never admit that.

One day, as they are spending their downtime on the couch in Souya's room, Reiji asks him a question that makes his blood freeze.

“Did you love your brother?”

The air around them becomes heavy for a brief moment. Reiji either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

“Did his death make you sad?” he asks, voice pleasantly blank, his kind eyes looking at Souya curiously.

With an inaudible sigh, Souya feels himself relax again. If it's Reiji, he knows he can be honest, although it will feel weird to finally say what has always been on his mind. Without thinking about it, he brings his knees close to his chest and rests his chin on them.

“What would you think of me if my answer was no?” he asks, holding his breath.

“It wouldn't change anything. I didn't know your brother, after all.” Reiji shifts around until his shoulder bumps lightly into Souya's. “But I know you, and I trust you.”

At first, Souya doesn't know how to react. The unconditional trust Reiji puts into him—it's the first time someone does to this extent—baffles him into silence. Then, quietly, hesitantly, there's an unfamiliar warmth spreading in the pit of his stomach.

“He's always been a mystery to me. I don' know anything about him, and yet everyone demands that I live up to his name.” Souya's voice is barely above a whisper. “His mere presence overwhelmed me. It still does, even after his death.”

Reiji nods, his face betraying none of his emotions. Then, very slowly, he lifts his hand and puts it on Souya's head, gently pulling him closer. He's giving him enough time to object, but Souya all but melts into him, as if the warmth of Reiji's body was the only thing binding him to this world.

After a few comfortable minutes of warmth and calm, Souya asks, “Do you miss your parents?”

He thinks he knows the answer already, but Reiji takes just a bit too long to reply.

“Probably not as much as I should.”

Reiji sounds like a different person and yet entirely like himself. There's a quiver to his voice that Souya can't place, but he quickly decides that he doesn't like it. Instead of saying anything, Souya leans more against Reiji's shoulder, hoping the feeling of another person beside him would soothe him like words never could.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this is over six years old, from back when we didn’t even know the name of Souya’s brother yet. (I had planned to name him Akaya, but no, they had to go for Shin.) I don’t necessarily ship them any more, but I still appreciate how much potential their relationship has.


End file.
